It can be a little confusing on how different women and men express love and affection to their romantic partners. We uniquely convey these emotional intimacies based on many factors like our past, personalities and how we interpret certain acts to be a form of love. Thus, it is important to figure out both yours and your partner’s preferences so you can apply them in developing a much closer loving bond towards one another.
In the “5 Love Languages” book written by Dr. Gary Chapman, he listed out the 5 different emotional love languages of how someone can express love to their romantic partner. These languages will then shed a light on why sometimes your statement of “I care so much about you” just seems to fall flat or when you buy them a surprise gift but it was met with less enthusiasm than you expected. It doesn’t mean that your partner doesn’t appreciate your gestures but maybe to them, they communicate their love languages differently than yours. Once you identify what those are, it would be easier to show them love the way they prefer it to be.
To find out which one might be yours, you can take the assessment from their official website. It will describe what your love language may be and how you can use those to connect with your partner in the highest form of love and intimacy.
You do need to provide your email address, gender, age, country of residence and relationship status to get the report. Though there’s an option where you can opt out from their mailing list and just get the result. If you are uncomfortable providing those details, you can also download the PDF version so you and your partner can take the test.
The 5 Love Languages are:
Words of Affirmation
This language lies in the power of words. They love to be reassured on how you feel about them so they know where they stand, and will feel more secure in the relationship. They love to hear things like “I can’t stop thinking about you”, “I miss you”, “I am so happy with you” – all the verbal affirmations. Shower them with loving words because this is how they understand that they are loved.
Acts of Service
This language is preferred by someone who likes to see how much you care by random acts of service. Things like throwing out the garbage, cleaning up the dishes, or making dinner without being asked. It does not necessarily have to be house chores. It can be something else like picking up the kids from dance lessons. Any of these acts will make them feel valued because they feel that you care enough to lighten their responsibilities.
This language is giving gifts as a token of your love. As a sign of how special they are to you. For example, buying a necklace or surprise presents unexpectedly. To them, this means that you are thinking of them. It does not matter on the costs of these things but what’s important is the thought behind those gifts.
This language is for someone who equates spending quality time with you as a form of intimacy. Note that it’s quality time so just sitting next to them and not being present won’t count. It has to be an activity that you both share and have fun together. It can be anything from walking around the park or just a pleasant talk on the couch.
This language is for someone who longs for physical touch to communicate emotional closeness. Any romantic physical gestures such as kisses or random hugs may mean the world to them. They feel more secure in relationships when they know you are around and able to be physically close to them.
If you took the test and know what your languages are, invite your partner to do the same. This way, both of you will be aware what each other’s languages will be. Show them love the way they associate love the most and vice versa. From here on, you’d find how much easier gestures can be appreciated and how the relationship can improve more and more.
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