So your ovaries are all aflutter because one of your best friends just had her first baby. You can’t wait to get over there and sniff up all that new baby smell. Maybe you have never had a baby so you aren’t aware of the proper new baby etiquette, or it’s been a while, so you have forgotten what an exhausting, brain fog of a time it is. Before you zip over there, first call and make sure it is okay and do not show up empty-handed. When in doubt, follow these five simple rules. Your momma friend will thank you for it.
Deliver Meals from Her (or their) Favorite Restaurants
Look you may think your terrific taco casserole is amazeballs but not everyone feels that way, and then you risk making your friend feel guilty for not eating it. Instead, order takeout from her favorite eatery. Order enough for leftovers and hubby. Deliver it yourself or if momma needs some alone time, have it delivered by the restaurant or a delivery service with explicit directions not to disturb the new family.
Sneezing? Better Keep Yo’ Butt at Home
If you or one of your own crumb snatchers has the sniffles, don’t even think about stepping foot in their house. That is just bad form all around. Just hold your horses until you are germfree and then ask for a visit. Once you get there, don’t pick up the baby without permission and sanitizer.
Put Your Work Gloves On
Some mommas are shy when it comes to asking for help, but make her put you to work. Ain’t nobody got time for shyness. Better yet, help yourself to her laundry and her dishes. She might protest, especially if she is a bit of a control freak. But tell her to get over it, babies do what they want when they want, so she better get used to it now.
Don’t Get Your Feelings Hurt
Not all mommas want you popping in at the hospital or as soon as they get home. My husband has a huge family, and we all live within two miles of each other, and the hospital is literally at the end of my street. Needless to say, I had lots of visitors when my first baby arrived. But after my 5th group of visitors the day after delivery and no sleep, I was on the verge of tears. Mommas appreciate you and know you mean well, but cut them some slack. They just brought a new human into the world and that ain’t no easy feat.
Don’t Be a Janice
You know Janice, the laugh, the loudness, the no regard for personal space? Don’t be her. Ask before you come over and never come over just to hold the baby and without a gift, food or the intent to help out in some way. Your presence alone is not a gift to an emotional, puke covered, delirious zombie mom who wants a nap or shower, but mostly a nap. Use your brain.
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