I think that as moms ( or dads), for the most part, there is at least a moment or two every single day we feel we are failing our kids. Maybe it’s losing our tempers or not being the perfect mom we think we should be, or any other perceived parenting fail that runs through our heads.
Perfect Doesn’t Exist
I think for me; I feel my biggest parenting fail is when I don’t see my kids as the magical beings they are. By no means are they perfect. Some days after I drop them at school I sprint to the car for that moment of peace.
But what I think my failure is when my kids are having a bad day, like all humans do, I expect them to be perfect. We all have bad days, days when we are tired, or times we are hungry, or a friend hurts our feelings. And it sucks. So we aren’t always the best versions of ourselves. I believe I get so wrapped up in making sure my kids are behaving that I forget some days are a wash. And I just need to let them be and help them work through it. Being human is hard, and being a little human trying to navigate all sorts of new things, feelings and thoughts are especially hard.
Work in Progress
However, I think I am getting better or at least trying to be better when things are spiraling. Is to pause, think about what they are going through and try a different approach. Parenting is a work in progress, no matter how old your kids are. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t give them a free pass to be a jerk. But I do try to make them understand even when we are in not so great of a mood; we can’t take it out on others. I suggest all kinds of things, taking a nap, playing alone in their rooms, watch tv in another room, draw or write out what’s bothering them. And if all that fails, I tell them we might need to call it a day and go to bed. We can try again tomorrow.
I am also learning to learn from my mom failings. Just as I am teaching my kids to be better tomorrow, I need to give myself that same grace. Because some days are an absolute sh*tshow and no amount of patience will get me through. When that happens, I try to take my own advice go to bed and give it a try again tomorrow.
Doing Our Best
As parents, I think we are doing the hardest work. It’s difficult most days to know which way is up. But we are all trying our best to raise kids that are as happy as they can be and treat others with kindness. So mama, don’t give up. And know you aren’t alone. Also, remember just the desire to do your best makes you a great parent. Keep moving forward the best you can.