One of the many many duties of a parent is to show their children how to be the caliber of humans that make the world a better place. Teaching our kids to be kind is the only way to accomplish that monumental task.
And of course, you have to do this with very little knowledge of the subject or training manual.
It that is hard because most of us are broken. And we believe that because we are broken, we aren’t worthy of love — my beautiful friends that is just a farce.
Because we are all deserving of love, we are made of love. But perhaps the hardest thing of all to do is to love ourselves. To be kind to ourselves, to show ourselves grace. I know I find this to be one of the most challenging things to do.
Although I am better today than I was yesterday and tomorrow, I will be better than I am now.
Trying to Teach Kindness
When I look at my children, I know they have good hearts. They both love hard. Each one loves a little bit different. My daughter has great empathy for others, and my son is so caring. However, they can also be quite mean and hurtful.
They particularly lash out when feelings are hurt, or one is doing something to the other or whatever it is at that very second. The name calling and the “I hate you’s” start. Although they get reprimanded for this because I can’t stand the word hate.
My brother and I fought when we were younger, we fought bad. But I don’t think that makes it okay. If you have siblings, then you know how bad you can hurt each other — both physically and verbally. In my house that is an immediate sideline.
I don’t think it is fair to hurt somebody because you are mad. And I really don’t feel like it is okay to use someone else’s weaknesses or insecurities against them. I came from a household where that was done, and it’s a crappy move.
Teaching my kids to be kind to each other, be kind to themselves and be kind to everyone around them is like trying to walk across cobblestone in six-inch heels. It’s slow going and treacherous. But I attempt it every day the best I can.
What We Do in My House to Be Kind
I don’t think it’s unrealistic for me to expect my kids not to be jerks to each other or others. I mean some days feels like I am just beating my head against the wall trying to instill kindness upon them.
For one, there are times when it is super hard to bite my tongue and not shout what a mother effing moron someone is. But I do it. And when my kids tell me one of their schoolmates was mean to them. I try to make them consider another story. Like sometimes we all act out when we hurt. It’s not okay, but it happens. And we need to give the other person grace.
Doesn’t mean put up with it, but rather understand where it is coming from. Because it is so true that you never know what they are going through.
It’s also a rule that you can be mad, but you can’t be mean. And this goes for being tired too. If you’re tired, go to bed. Doesn’t do anyone any good if you stay up being a jerk.
Also, no name calling. This is a struggle for everyone in my house.
I also never talk about myself looking ugly in something or that I fat or any other jab us ladies take at ourselves.
The thing is, I am learning how to love and be kind to myself and others too. Kids are little watchers, and their ears are always up. If you want your child to be kind, you gotta walk the walk also.